Hugs and Kissies

'Free Hugs' is not a concept I'd volunteer for. I have never been one to hug easily, in fact, I'd much rather stand back, smile and wave. Back in the Old Country one shook hands with both sexes, which took a bit to unlearn at first here in Australia. Now that I have assimilated, it's hard to go back.

There was a time when I was taught to courtsy when shaking hands with an adult... that's what well mannered (submissive) girls did to show respect. I was good at it. It became 'natural' and most embarressing when I was sixteen and got introduced to a boy I'd admired and promptly courtsied as I shook his hand. He grinned, lit his next smoke on his first smoke and distanced himself - quite quickly. I guess I wasn't his type...I did take up cigarette smoking after that. I know, I was such an idiot!

Years passed and I find myself engaged in the study of self awareness. All participants hugged when seeing each other at yet another course. In fact, we were encouraged to do just that. It created a sense of belonging...you are not alone!

"Hippies!", I thought, grinned and carried on...

After a while I recognised the hidden language.
The Three-Pats-"I'm-Not-Gay!"-ManHug,
The "Ooh-what's-going-on-here?" Obvious Hug,
The "Don't-even-think-about-it"/ A-Frame Hug.


The "We'veGotALotOfHistoryHug" is the one that I came totally undone on once. After one of those, my favourite female friend commented on how painful it was when I dig my chin into her collarbone...but....but...

But that's exactely how I always did it!

Always!

There must have been years of inflicting pain on this poor woman! Now she tells me!

After that I became a wary hugger and needless to say, never really recovered.

Until recently, when I met a whole group of guys that did it at the start and the end of a motorcycle ride. It struck me as a little strange when I first saw it and I was glad to sit back and watch this ritual from afar, but then one of them came over...

No escape!

Try hugging with your helmet on!

That collarbone would have seen better days...I could not get out of there fast enough.

The next time we rode together and met at the meeting point, riders started to hug others and included me in that ritual. I hardly knew their names and the thought crossed my mind how my partner would feel about seeing me hugging that motley crew in their leathers. And then there were those that kissed cheek...hugs and kissies...ooohlala.

Yes, there was that moment of wonder, but once I let go of the 'touch' part, I got what this is about:
An acknowledgement of sameness. A symbolic action, more than just greeting, but a physical manifestation of caring for each others welfare, a genuine proclamation of being a part of that circle.

Riding a motorcycle is physical and the cameradery that exists in the fraternity surpasses everything I have known. These days my hugs say: "We belong!"